


give it time

by astralgabriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Caring Sam Winchester, Coda, Episode: s13e18 Bring 'em Back Alive, Episode: s13e19 Funeralia, M/M, Prayer, Starts after ep18 and continues over ep19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 14:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14403621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralgabriel/pseuds/astralgabriel
Summary: Sam prays to Gabriel after he leaves, and it ends up becoming a bit of a routine.Coda fic inspired by a tumblr prompt.





	give it time

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the tumblr prompt,
> 
> "Sam praying to Gabriel? Just anything like that. Gabriel’s gone, Sam is sad (did you see his face? Wow) he’s probably afraid that Dean’s gonna hurt Gabriel with the way he’s talking about “hijacking his grace” so."

It had been a long day.

Sam’s whole body still ached from Asmodeus’ assault; he could still feel each muscle tensing and twisting in an unnatural manner. His insides felt like they were wedged inside a vice grip, slowly loosening as the hours ticked by, but still uncomfortable.

Then there had been Dean’s outburst. Sam understood his brother’s anger, understood that frustration and disappointment all rolled into one explosive moment, but he couldn’t sympathise.

Not after how he’d seen Gabriel behave. How, even as the archangel left, he was still barely a ghost of his former glory. How he’d stumbled over his once smooth humour, his eyes dulled and distant.

Sam understood trauma too well, and he saw the fear and suffering barely masked beneath Gabriel’s lackluster attempts at wit. Gabriel needed to help himself before he could even consider helping them.

Sam leant forward in his chair, arms coming to rest on his desk. He hesitated for a moment, feeling oddly self conscious, before pressing his hands flat together and closing his eyes.

“Oh holy Archangel Gabriel, Messenger of God, hear my prayer,” Sam said, his voice muffled by clasped hands in front of his mouth. He knew it was a long shot - he wasn’t even sure he’d opened the prayer correctly, or if Gabriel even listened to prayers now, but he had to try.

“I, uh- I just wanted to say, I hope you’re okay.” Sam clenched his jaw and sighed. “Sorry, that was stupid. Of course you’re not okay. I just mean, I hope you’re, I don’t know, holding it together?”

It felt ridiculous, talking out loud in an empty room. Sam persisted though, gripped onto the thin thread of hope that Gabriel could hear him.

“We dumped a lot on you earlier. Sorry about that too. It’s, well- It’s easy to forget how ridiculous the last few years have been. I mean, God has a sister! But that’s not news to you, I guess. Dean as a Knight of Hell though, that sounds, well, weird.”

Sam paused for a moment to pull his thoughts back into line. His elbows ached, pressed against the desk, but he held the position, eyes closed.

“I meant what I said, you know?” Sam continued, his voice dropping to barely a whisper. “I know you’re hurting, and you’re scared, and that’s overwhelming everything else right now. Just- know that you’re welcome here, okay? That I’m here, if you need to talk, or- yeah.”

“I really do hope you’re doing okay, Gabe. Amen.”

Sam wasn’t surprised when he opened his eyes to an empty room.

* * *

It became a routine for Sam.

Each night, before he slept, he prayed to Gabriel. Sam felt utterly useless, well aware that if Gabriel didn’t want to be found, they would never see him again.

Sam wasn’t even entirely certain why he continued praying. Maybe it was because he hoped the thoughts would give Gabriel a lifeline, a tether back to reality if his mind became too overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he couldn’t do anything else. Maybe it was to try and counterbalance the vitriol his brother was spewing, choosing to forget the state Gabriel had first arrived in and instead label him a coward.

Either way, it became a routine.

The prayers tended to end the same way, with Sam reminding Gabriel of what he said, of how the Bunker could be a safe haven if he needed, of how Sam understood and was here for him.

The rest was filled with aimless chatter about what had happened that day, no matter how mundane. It seemed oddly casual, to start with Gabriel’s title then launch into what he’d made for lunch, but Sam didn’t know how else to fill the silence.

He told Gabriel about Rowena and Billie and the Reapers, about how Castiel was out searching for him now, about how Dean has started to drink a little more before going to bed each night.

He told Gabriel about Jody and Donna, and their ragtag family of Wayward Daughters, about Eileen and her soft smile, about Charlie and Ketch in the alternate reality.

Sam spoke about most anything that came to mind, his prayers stretching longer and longer as the days passed by, hoping that one day, he’d be interrupted by familiar biting snark sung in an animated tone.

Sam thought that maybe, just maybe he’d found someone who could understand in Gabriel. Someone who knew how it felt when fear wrapped tight about every limb, squeezing and crushing and controlling everything. Someone who knew how it felt to wake to phantom pain, echoes of torment long gone that lingered like bad souvenirs.

Someone who understood.

* * *

On the eighth day, Sam assumed his usual position, hunched over his desk with his hands pressed tight together.

“Oh holy Archangel Gabriel, Messenger of God, hear my prayer.”

“The formalities are nice and all, but just Gabriel will do.”

Sam blinked his eyes open, hands dropping from their clasped grip. Gabriel sat perched on the desk, clad in a black leather jacket and jeans, fingers curled around the edge as his legs dangled aimlessly.

There was still something jarring, something not quite right, but as Gabriel watched him with a smirk painted across his lips, eyes alight with the faintest of sparks, Sam knew he’d get there eventually.

“You heard me.”

“I heard you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i am working on a 13x18 coda fic but it's just taking so long to get it just right, sorry!
> 
> title is inspired by "you and i" by pvris - seriously, go and listen to the stripped version, it fits sabriel perfectly at the moment
> 
> if you have any prompts (all are welcome), my tumblr is astralgabriel!
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated and make my day <3


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